a·shamed
1.feeling shame; distressed or embarrassed by feelings of guilt, foolishness, or disgrace:This morning I am feeling ashamed. Twice yesterday I admitted that I am going through my second divorce. Through this whole situation I've chosen my words very carefully, and made sure that I did not use the dreaded "d" word. But yesterday, I actually said that I am 28 and going through divorce number 2. I was embarrassed about the first divorce, but I am completely and totally ashamed to be going through the second one.
I also admitted yesterday that I have thought about trying to work things out with a man who cheated on me for the simple fact that I do not want to be divorced again...which I'm a little ashamed of as well. What kind of life would that be?
I've kept so much of what I'm going through bottled up inside because I'm ashamed. Two husbands, two divorces due to cheating. I'm ashamed to admit that.
When will I be able to live my life for myself? When will I realize that I have nothing to be ashamed of?
I know from a logical standpoint, you know none of this is your fault. Getting our hearts and heads in sync proves to be a difficult task, however. But I have faith that one day they will. And the shame will be replaced with confidence. xoxox
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